Matcha Wednesday started as a morning tradition where we sit on the beach, watch the sun rise, drink matcha and talk about life. These regular moments of intentional presence and shared wisdom have left me with changed perspectives that help me live a more fulfilling life. With that thought in mind, here are 8 perspectives that I live my life by.

1. You choose what you pick up 

You can’t control how other people will treat you. What you can control is how you react. I call this "choosing what to pick up."  You get a choice. Do you want to pick up the toxicity that someone else has laid down? Because you can, if that’s what you want. You can pick up the nasty words, the thoughtless behaviour, and you can lug that sack around all day feeling resentful, sad, and angry. But what does that do for you? For your day? Does it feel good? Does it weigh you down? If you want to feel like that, then by all means, pick it up, lug it around. This is YOUR life - it is YOUR choice. I leave a lot of what other people put out just sitting there on the ground, and I stroll on by minding my own business, sippin' my iced matcha. We all live different lives, experience different happenings, and how we treat others is often a reflection of ourselves and what we are going through. I’m not going to tell someone not to express their feelings, they can put down whatever they like –  what I can do, is choose whether I’m going to pick it up and best believe, I am absolutely going to guard my peace. If that means I leave someone's little parcel of nastiness sitting tied up there on the sand, like a doggy poop bag - then so be it.

2. See the good 

This gem I stole from my friend, the beautiful Heather, who always has a positive outlook, even through the storms. The truth is that life isn't always easy, or bright, or happy, but if you look, you will always find something good and it will change your perspective – this I promise you. One of the reasons I treasure our Matcha Wednesday mornings so much is because it’s a chance for us to talk and work through whatever is going on with our lives and gain perspective so we can start the day with a clear mind. The absolute best thing is that no matter what we are going through, one of us always points out the good and it helps provide gratitude every time. Before you know it, you'll start looking for the good in everything and the world is a whole light brighter when you do. In the words of Albus Dumbledore, “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” 

3. Time is non-refundable; be intentional with it and where it is spent. 

Here’s the truth – your time is non-refundable. Once spent, you will never get it back and the sooner we realise this, the more intentional we start to become. In the past, it would be dark when I left for work in the morning, and the sun would have set by the time I got home leaving enough time for food and sleep. I would agree to spend time with people who left me feeling drained because I felt obligated or knew they needed help, I very rarely put up healthy boundaries, and as a result, I never had any time left in the week for myself or things that filled my own cup. The problem with this is that it isn’t sustainable. You end up with an empty cup and nothing left to give. We need to prioritise moments in the day to feel our best in order to be our best – otherwise there is nothing left to give anyone else, much less ourselves. For me that now looks like rising early, meeting friends for pilates, watching the sun rise together, drinking hot matchas, and swimming in the ocean before the workday officially starts. I’ve let go of friendships that weren’t right for me and I’ve learnt to put up boundaries when needed. The results? I’m happier, more productive, I have solid friendships and I’ve made time for myself. The lesson; time is non-refundable. Intend to be intentional with it and where it is spent. 

4. Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket. 

This is a bit of wisdom that asked me to own responsibility for myself. It was a game changer. This especially comes up in relationships – both platonic and otherwise. If you are constantly looking for others to fill your cup, I’m sorry but you’ll be disappointed. If you fill your own cup, slowly you’ll stop needing it from others and eventually anything that anyone does for you beyond that is now the icing on the cake, the cherry on top of the sundae, the honey in your matcha – it’s always nice but you don’t rely on it to feel good within yourself. For me this might mean taking a matcha break even when the inbox is full, booking a weekend away, taking a walk on the beach, or prioritising a mental health day where I shut off the socials. This one is not to be confused with having no standards for how you would like to be treated, its just priorisiting filling your cup up for yourself first. 

5. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. 

If you're feeling discontent or generally lacking in some area of your life, then chances are you need to hear this. It’s a big one that I had to swallow for myself after many years of discontent as a lawyer. Truth was, I wasn’t happy. So, I changed it up. I quit despite having next to no financial backing, I took a risk because I valued my happiness over my comfort zone. And guess what? It paid off. Yes, I had to work a summer cleaning a backpackers just to pay the bills, but now? I have friendships and a relationship that I can invest time in, I have a job I love teaching law, I write and publish books, I co-own a matcha company, I get to watch the sunrise and the sunset from something other than the courthouse windows every day and I am more content than ever. If you want something more, doors will have to close in order for other ones to open. For you that might mean leaving a job, moving, ending a relationship, walking away from a friendship, changing a routine or getting out of your comfort zone. Is it easy? No. Worth it? Always. Take the leap, be brave. And if you can't manage that? Taking even a tiny step will inevitably lead to more.

6. You’ll catch more bees with honey than vinegar. 

This one is credited to my father. True story; someone once arbitrarily put a wheel lock on my car to stop me from leaving. No matter what I did, he wouldn’t take it off. So I did what any self-respecting woman might do and I called my Dad and yes, I told on him. I know, don’t judge me. Here’s the thing, I was ready for the fireworks. But the unfathomable happened; Dad showed up and politely asked him to take the wheel lock off – the wheel lock was removed, no questions. Later I couldn’t work out whether I was disappointed or impressed so I asked Dad why he didn’t show up all guns blazing. His response: “You catch more bees with honey than vinegar. I started with kindness and if that failed, then the vinegar was going to come out.” Lesson learnt. Start with kindness, but don’t take s***either.  

7. Your tribe is your vibe. 

This one is simple. Surround yourself with the tribe that reflects your vibe. Don’t let yourself get sucked into friendships just because you feel obligated, not because you really want to be there. Be mindful of who you are spending time with - do they align with your morals and the things you value most, do they have the best intentions?  Better to have a smaller circle of quality than a larger circle that isn’t vibing your vibe. Does that mean people will leave your life? Yes! Will some people not like you? It's a possibilty. Is any of this bad? No. Some people are for a reason or a season, while others are for a lifetime. And all of this is absolutely ok. 

8. Look after yourself

This one is courtesy of my mother. She asked me once, "if you had a daughter, would you talk to her the way you talk about yourself? Would you forget to feed her, the way you forget to feed yourself? Would you let her put up with that treatment, the way you put up with it?"  I answered "no."

"Then why do you treat yourself that way?"

Good point. Finishing with the mum advice: Look after yourself - you only get the one body. Might as well treat it with nourishment - that means nutrition, positive thoughts, backing yourself, healthy boundaries, solid friendships and always a full cup of matcha. Happy matcha-ing friends!